When Dating Someone How Much Should You Sacrifice Of Yourself

A situation came up this weekend, that made me think of this question. While often we give up large parts of ourselves when we are in a relationship, I have to wonder how much is enough, too much, or not enough. Should we allow ourselves to be pushed in different directions and if so, how much. I have often felt at a loss to much is the right amount.

First let me relate a story to you, about this weekend. I do come cycling, and I was around a couple that also do some cycling. Well, one of the partners is an avid cyclist, and the other is not. The other has been out once before, and her partner talked her into signing up for 40 miles out on her first day. I felt the need to do some serious intervention this weekend, as I thought that was excessive for someone who is not in shape. She would later opt to do the shorter 20 mile route, but her comment was, I don't want to disappoint him. Personally I have been cycling for awhile, and I can't quite crack 40 miles, and assumed she couldn't either. I should also add, this person was not in good physical shape, and had not been on any sort of exercise program.

Which lead me to think, why would your put yourself in a position to push your body beyond its normal limits for someone? Does riding an extra 20 miles show love? Does the extra mileage show commitment? What type of dynamic between two people is there when one pushes the other beyond their limit, and why in the world would someone ask in the first place?

Love should be tender, kind, caring, and looking out for the other person. I do not feel that healthy relationships should endanger their partner in anyway. Whether your violating physical, emotional, or mental boundaries of a person should make no difference. If you are really caring towards your partner, their comfort level should factor into play. Actually it should factor, and then those factors should immediate be put into play.

This whole episode really brought home to me, what is a caring and loving relationship. Personally I want my partner to be around for a long time. I do not want to push them beyond their limits. It is offensive whether a person is invading your space when you stand in line at a grocery store, or an elevator. Why wouldn't it be any different if someone who claims to love and adore you tries to encroach in your personal physical, and emotional boundaries? I do not feel there is a difference, and if your with a person that wants to ride along your personal boundaries, and push you past your limits, perhaps, you should walk away.

Origin: umad-dating-advices.blogspot.com