Old Friends And Shoes

There I was, poised to go to the gym, and I got a call from my South African friend Shaun, who is in London on business. Shaun is married to my oldest friend Caroline, and I have known both of them since I was five-years-old. I think I had a pretty fortunate upbringing in that we lived in a safe kind of neighborhood, and all my friends were within walking distance, enabling us to traffic between eachother's homes at all hours. Most of us experienced our first kiss, drink, and cigarettes together, among other more deviant teenage activities.

But what makes my relationship with both Caroline and Shaun so special to me, is that we can go through long periods (years even) of not talking while we get on with the business of life, and then pick up a phone and talk as though we saw each other just yesterday. Solid, low-maintenance friendships. These are people I can be completely honest with without fear of looking like an eejit. Aside from the fact that they know pretty much all of my historical dirty laundry, they also chose to hang out with me despite some embarrassing home-made haircuts. That in itself deserves some credit.

Shaun supplies clothes to some big retailers in the USA and South Africa, and after lunch we popped into some stores on Oxford Street so he could get a feel for trends here. I trotted alongside, blabbering about how women like Kate Moss and Sienna Miller set the fashion scene for younger women in the UK, and how popular designer knock-offs are etc. In another life I would have loved to be a fashion buyer.

After we parted ways, I visited a few shoe shops. No matter how blue I'm feeling, shoe shopping, even shoe window shopping, seldom fails to lift me out of my funk. Even if I have no plans on buying, just walking around, picking up shoes and admiring the different materials, cuts, and accessories, makes me feel kind of calm and happy. Also, I'm very pleased to see that wedges have made a comeback again this year, and I already have two pairs. Wedges are great for giving you height, without the teetering effect. And at 5.3 I can use all the extra height I can get.

I popped in on Marianne Keyes's website yesterday. She is the only women I know that is as cosmetic-mad as me. OK, perhaps aside from my future sis-in-law Cayt. Marianne's make-up diary is a treasure trove of cosmetic info, and she regularly reviews new ranges in her typically direct and humorous way. I often purchase things at her recommendation.

Since starting the Patrick Holford way of eating, and taking supplements, my skin is a lot less dry then it used to be, which is a relief. I was spending a fortune on different cleansers trying to find one which didn't leave my skin feeling like an elephants backside, but now think there was clearly something lacking in my diet. I also went for a Dermalogica facial last week, because I think as with the dental hygenist (which it just so happens I saw on the same day), things like teeth and skin need to have a deep cleaning from time to time, despite the risk of great pain. Ingalena, my hygenist, suggested that a visit with her before our wedding might be nice, as though my clean gums would somehow be a key feature for our big day. But, as it turns out, she is away for the entire month of August. "What a real pity", I said, trying my very best not to show how pleased I was.

Photo: Gold wedges c/o shoes.com

Why I Support Out Of Hospital Birth

I've never had a home birth and I'm not sure I ever will. I thought I should get that out at the beginning, just in the interest of complete honesty, because what I want to address is the topic of out of hospital births and I think it's important for others to know that I don't have personal experience with out of hospital births. What I do have personal experience with is the anxiety a mother feels while making her birth decisions and I think every woman should have the right to choose the birth environment that makes sense to her.

I have known at least four smart, well-researched women who have had births at home or free standing birth center births and I fully supported them in those births and would support anyone else who also chose to birth outside of a hospital and here's why: Home birth does not equal a nineteenth century birth that eschews all modern medicine. Home birth just means a birth that occurs at home. (If any interventions had seemed necessary or if complications such as infection, bleeding, or anything else had arisen, I know that each of them would have been at the hospital in a minute! In fact, one of my friends did have some hemorrhaging and she did not hesitate to go to the hospital because that is what hospitals are for--helping people who "need" modern medicine or interventions before, during, or after birth!) People who choose to home birth are not necessarily anti-interventions and anti-medicine, they are just anti-interventions unless they are "necessary and appropriate. "

A person who home births is no less anti-necessary medicine than a person who tries safe, effective home remedies for a cold or an injury before going to the hospital. The truth is that for most healthy women who are at low risk for complications and whose baby is at low risk for complications, the hospital with all of its bells and whistles is not necessary and being in the hospital (many argue) puts that low risk woman in danger of interventions that might be unnecessary in a lower stress, more familiar environment like the home. Home is also usually within a comfortable driving distance of a hospital. After all, we trust our home to be safe enough that if any kind of dangerous accident happens there (like a tree falling, or a poisoning, or a fall down the stairs, or a knife/chainsaw/lawn mower incident--all of which, by the way, are more common than a catastrophic birth experience), we will get to the hospital in time or we wouldn't buy that home to begin with.

I get why people are nervous about home births. The thought of anything happening to a newborn baby is too awful to contemplate. If you are that afraid that something will happen in your birth or with your newborn that it will need immediate attention and cannot wait the ten or fifteen minute car ride to a hospital (or whatever distance the nearest birth center or your home is from the hospital), than you are absolutely correct to birth in a hospital. You have decided that you are fine with a twenty percent increased risk of getting a c-section and a much higher risk of having some other kind of intervention, and I don't think anyone will judge you for it. You weighed your risks and your options and you made a choice that the ability to have interventions if you need them is more important to you than the risk of having interventions you don't need. That's fine. Conversely, if you have researched it and you are willing to take the risk that the distance your house is from the nearest emergency room might be too much if something catastrophic happens in your birth, than I think you should have the right to take that risk without judgment as well. A mother who chooses home birth or an out of hospital birth has probably weighed her risk options and used the same kind of reasoning, love, and care to come to her own decision. No one should assume she hasn't. She isn't being selfish. She just chose to take a slight risk of something happening without immediate intervention, over a much higher risk of an intervention happening without it being necessary.

I also understand why many doctors and nurses are anti-home birth and don't understand why anyone would choose it. I have known a couple of nurses who work in NICUs or labor units in hospitals and they cringe to think about babies born outside of hospitals because in their line of work they have only ever seen home birth babies and mothers with complications. However, that's because the only time out of hospital birthing babies or mothers come to the hospital is when there is a complication. Nurses and doctors know very little about healthy home births because they have never been involved in them. Because only about.67 percent of women in the US had home births in 2011, I have to believe that most hospital interventions and NICU resources are used for hospital births. In fact, elective inductions (choosing to have your labor induced when it is past your due date or for another non-medical reason--a trend that has grown to nearly 30% of all births in some hospitals) result in more babies being placed in the NICU than home births.

However, what I don't understand is people who get angry with women and try to take their right to choose their place of birth away from them simply because they would not make that same choice themselves. It is not as if most of these women are denying medical help when they need it; they are simply denying medical help unless or until they need it. There is a world of difference between those two statements. I respect women's rights to make their own, educated medical decisions no matter if their choices agree with mine or not. Other people should do the same; it's not like they are trying to take away the right to choose birth in hospitals.

Thanks for reading,

Shawna

Singles And Dating Open Question She Loves To Tease Me But I Want Her To Kiss Me I Cant Wait Any Longer

I'll be honest here. Our relationship started as a one night stand when I met her in a bar. Not the greatest of starts. But I really liked her and thought she was so beautiful and charming. I convinced her to grab a cup of coffee with me - sober. During the date we agreed that since we already have rushed it we should slow it down. She suggested that I wasn't allowed to touch her or try and kiss her until she did it to me first.

And now it's been 2 weeks and we've seen each other every night. There has been a few "moments" where a kiss would be perfect but no luck. She is just teasing me and sometimes leaning in to kiss me but then backs away. I think she is enjoying teasing me too much. How do I make her kiss me? Cause if she doesn't I'm going to grab her and just press her against the wall....

Reference: quickpua.blogspot.com

Fab Guide 5 Reasons Why You Should Hire A Wedding Planner

Let's face it and face it now. At times, you are going to find planning your wedding abroad a complete and utter nightmare! You'll have countless conversations with yourself over whether or not you have made the right decision to wed away and will be sick and tired of the whole thing, but guess what - it will all pass, and even better? There is a practical way to deal with it if it gets too much.

Image via Elizabeth Anne Designs

At Fly Away Bride, we believe everyone can plan a wedding but some people can just do it better and easier than others. For these people, it's their profession and they do it everyday of the week. Here are 5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER.

1. TIME

Planning a wedding, let alone a destination wedding is a time consuming task, and time is something that so many people are simply short of. Whether you are having a wedding abroad or one at home, it's a wise idea to evaluate your current lifestyle. Have you hours in the evening to spare? What about the weekend? If not, can you alter your lifestyle to find these hours? A wedding planner will offer services that can greatly reduce the time and effort you have to put in. From drawing up a shortlist of venues that are in line with your vision to coordinating, even attending meetings on your behalf.

The other time factor to be considered is your timezone difference. How big is it? Planning a Rome wedding from San Francisco means you are trying to communicate with vendors who are 9 hours ahead of you. Their work day is over before you have even begun yours, slowing the planning process down. A local planner can do all the leg-work for you during the day and get faster results.

Lastly, hiring a wedding planner will mean that you will have more time to relax, chill out and explore your new surroundings with family and friends. When guests are travelling so far to be with you on your big day, it's important that you get to spend quality time with them. Allowing a planner to draft up schedules that maximise your free time once you arrive, means you can enjoy your own wedding and have confidence that the day itself will run like clockwork.

Image via Desire, Design Delight

2. LANGUAGE BARRIER

You want to get married in France but your vocabulary is limited to "Oui" and "Baguette". You have a few options here. Set Google Translate as your homepage, take a course or hire a local wedding planner. You will not appreciate the value of hiring a local planner until you have had too many awkward conversations with French speaking florists and no email responses from vendors who didn't understand your inquiry in the first place.

Hiring a wedding planner that speaks your language means that you have a far better chance of ensuring your flower centrepieces are beautifully asymmetrical, your mother's meal is gluten free and that your aunt's room has air conditioning. This is because your wedding planner will be able to manage the relationship between your suppliers because they can translate your vision and communicate your specific requirements to them, and all on your behalf.

Image via Iowa State Daily

3. LEGALITIES

Perhaps one of the biggest challenges a couple will face when planning their wedding abroad is understanding the legal obligations they are going to have to fulfill. Where it is possible for you to have a legal ceremony, the paperwork and timescales can be quite confusing and even though we have made an effort to educate you on the legalities of getting married in certain countries around Europe, a local wedding planner can actually walk you through the process, step by step. They will let you know exactly what documents you require and the dates you need them by. They will be able to communicate easily with the town halls and powers that be to book in your actual wedding day and work directly with you to make sure you know the process to follow in order to receive your marriage certificate after your wedding.

Image via Wedding Chicks

4. LOCAL VENDOR KNOWLEDGE

Most planners will offer separate services to their full wedding planning packages. Maybe you can't find a venue that has enough bedrooms, or a baker that can make you a three tiered, red velvet cake. A local wedding planner will have a list of contacts and for a smaller fee than their full wedding package, will be able to send you on referrals. Of course, using a planner from start to finish will also offer you this luxury, saving you time, effort and worry. Reputable planners will only work with the best in the industry, suppliers that they can trust themselves. They should be able to give you plenty of vendor options so that you can choose a style that resonates with you. They will also be able to communicate more effectively with these suppliers once you have selected them.

Image via City Journal

5. MONEY MATTERS

Hiring a wedding planner, believe it or not, can actually save you money. Many planners have developed good relationships with suppliers and are comfortable negotiating rates with them. A good wedding planner will also help you set and STICK TO your budget, finding you alternative solutions when and where necessary.

We will also be giving some tips on choosing a wedding planner in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for that.

The post FAB Guide 5 Reasons Why You Should Hire a Wedding Planner appeared first on Fly Away Bride.

Source: young-pickup-artist.blogspot.com

Singles And Dating Open Question What Do I Do Need Help With Future Affecting Decisions

Basically when i was younger, i was badly abused by a man for a few years of which this still impacts upon my life today. After a few years ive finally got myself back on my own two feet and i now go to uni, have a part time job etc. Its been really hard to trust people however over a year ago now i met a guy who iv been with ever since. Dont get me wrong i do really love him however due to the previous events in my life of which i feel i lost many of my teenage years, i want to in a way be able to live my life in the greatest way i can now. So as a result i really dont know what to do. I love this guy however i feel that if i was to stay with him for the rest of my life,i could start to resent him later on in life due to settling down too soon and not truly experiencing life. On the other hand i could loose a amazing guy forever. Im 21 and i know some people are content with settling down at this age but i feel like i have so much more i need to do alone but i also dont want to completely loose him. So what do i do?

Origin: break-seduction.blogspot.com

What Is Hypnosis Used For

Hypnosis has standard gasp from the doctors as an select method to help fleshy people lose impact and quit smoking, for example. One possibly will ask what is used for hypnosis and hypnosis is used for undeniable notes that you can not organized think about it. Hypnosis can be used to help you lose impact. Taking part in hypnosis, you can probably say that the entrenched mind absorbs the positive suggestions. Clear proposals is that they no longer request sweets or gorgeous typefood. Different good stain to say that, like the development and swallow of physical activity every day. That list can go to tips to help you lose impact tersely, for instance it will impart the gesture into action being the hypnosis is over. Equally is hypnosis used for? Hypnosis is a attraction tool to help you quit smoking. Top figure normal he will say that he no longer hankering for cigarettes and never think about cigarettes. Perchance the polite will tell youabsolutely irritation the hint of cigarette smoke and avoid some cigarettes at any price. To the same degree youre hypnotized to quit quit smoking, sometimes in just one hour, without all the disadvantages of select methods. Hypnosis works very well to lose impact and quit smoking, but gift are unorthodox problems the method works: * Clip intense. * Pulling out lint. * Craving on alcohol. * Wet bed. * Those speaking. * The study conduct. *Treatment of hearing. * Conviction. * Phobias. * Sports Show off. * Control stress. * Procrastination. * Awareness. * Sexual problems. * A number of bad conduct. So what is hypnosis used for? Forcefully every question in your life that bothers you. You can download the hypnosis audio quality for listening at home (yes, for exact), so you do not carry on to journey a hypnotist and chief debt, mega official group for log session.

Source: young-pickup-artist.blogspot.com

Hework

HARLAN ELLISON ON HIS RIGHT TO DESTROY UNFINISHED WORK

Rick tells me there is a bit of an academic discussion in progress on Usenet...the subject of which is: "Does an Author have the right--or SHOULD an Author have the right--to destroy any or all of his/her unfinished work after his/her death?"

The basis of this contretremps, I'm told, is that word has leaked out that I've instructed Susan and my assistant, immediately on the striking of my passing...or as soon thereafter as conveniently possible...she is to destroy all of my unfinished stories, burn and stir the ashes of any manuscripts in progress, do the same to any novels-in-progress, flense all notes and snippets, tear out all the pages of my working notebooks and in-progress files and, in short, make it impossible for anyone to ghost-write,
collaborate-to-completion, or "finish" anything incomplete at the moment of my death.

I won't even deign to dignify the offensive and arrogant presumption of some amateur, tyro, boneheaded theorist divorced from Reality who has the temerity, the naivete, the outright ignorant gall to say an Author DOESN'T have the absolute and final say-so over his/her creations!
Anyone who takes that position is probably a smug academic creep who thinks he/she should be the commandant of posterity for an Author's work...that he or she KNOWS what's best for an Author and for that measure of the future of Litrachure consigned to that specific Author...or it's the selfish whining of a fan-boy or -girl who presumes to misunderstand that the Author gives what he/she chooses and that's ALL that you, or he/she, gets. Nothing more, not one jot, tittle, or snippet.

I am determined that--in the event anyone gives a damn about me or my work after I've gone down the hole--that there will be no publication of, say, BLOOD'S A ROVER by Harlan Ellison and Frederik Pohl, or Harlan Ellison and Robert Silverberg, or Harlan Ellison and David Drake...or whoever that season's "completer" might be.

They've dredged up the rotting literary bones of virtually everyone from Charles Dickens ("The Mystery of Edwin Drood" ) to Edgar Allan Poe ("The Lighthouse") to Margaret Mitchell and Michael Shaara (and no, I allow no slack just because Mike's son has done the "prequel" to THE KILLER
ANGELS)...and I understand that they've now found the
three-quarters-completed manuscript of a sequel to A CANTICLE FOR LIEBOWITZ which was in progress when Walter M. Miller, Jr. died...and someone is
"completing" it.

Now, I suppose someone who enjoys reading, who loves Miller's work, or Robert E. Howard's work, or even--on a warm day--Harlan Ellison's work, presumes to believe s/he is justified in assuaging his/her selfish need to have a moment more's enjoyment by championing the "right" of some parvenu ghoul of a literary grave-robber to misappropriate the efforts of a dead man or woman, for the self-gratification of a faceless, nameless audience. I tell you this from the heart: whoever it might be stoking that position on Usenet...you are wrong. You are smartass, and insolent, and offensive; you are wrongheaded, and lack even the vaguest understanding of the proprietary and primary interest of literary creations by the Author; you are selfish, and mingy, and have the soul of either a ribbon clerk, or a poltroon. You ought to be a high school corrections officer, or some narrow-eyed public official who spends all day stamping DENIED on applications for something-or-other. You are just simply, finally, full of rhino-turds, and I urge you to shut the f
up and NEVER EVER AGAIN venture a moronic opinion such as this, in
public or in private, lest a Real Writer overhear, and pound you into flinders.

I trust I have made myself abundantly clear on this subject. Let us move on.

yr. pal, Harlan

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