The Happy Daze Of Chris Morris

Chris MorrisThe ways of happiness

The ways of happiness

by Chris Morris

I'm in the middle of Robert Holden's 8-week happiness course - a series of meditations on joy and happiness.

It's wonderful. Robert is one of the most authentically happy people I've ever met, as well as being a great teacher and facilitator.

I love having conversations about happiness. From children to great grandparents, I think we can learn about happiness from everyone.

One of the most interesting things is what we call paradigms of happiness. How do people think about happiness?

Most people seem to think about it as something that has to be earned or deserved. If I work hard, then I can enjoy the weekend. If my kids are happy, then I'll be happy. (Otherwise I suck and must be miserable.)

Others think about it as something they (can) achieve. They seek bigger experiences, wilder adventures, more stuff, better stuff. If I seduce a supermodel and go on a road trip across America, then I'll be happy. (Otherwise I suck and must be miserable.)

Some people see happiness as something they already have. It's like a possession. The trouble with a possession is someone might take it away, so these people tend to guard their happiness and insure against its loss.

If you've ever been to a self-improvement event, you'll have met people for whom happiness has become a journey or even a quest. If they could just find the right map and ignore the distractions, eventually they'd get there. But who has the right map? You can almost hear these people shouting inside their head 'JUST TELL ME WHERE THE DAMN HAPPINESS IS AND THEN I'LL GO THERE'. Usually they're looking for the latest sat nav gadget, in whatever form that takes - another book, another workshop... they are usually less and less happy as they learn more and more ways to become happy.

A few people think about happiness as a choice. They decide to be happy. They might take practical steps too - learning techniques to focus their mind; eating in ways that give them constant energy; avoiding people who bring them down, etc. - and if they do, by aligning their attention and intention, they will probably feel good more often than not. This pretty much works; a lot of happy people do it this way.

But the paradigm I like best is the most simple of all. It's the genuine realisation that you are happy. It's the knowledge that happiness is your essence; your core. And when you pay attention to your essence rather than the distractions of everyday life, happiness is always there, because you are happy.

Michael Neill has a lovely story about a bowl of cloudy water, kinda muddy water. How would you make it clear? Shake it? Boil it? Sieve it? Add chemicals? None of them really work that great. The best way we've found is to let the bowl settle. Let the water stand for a while. And what you'll notice is the gunk starts to separate itself, because the natural state of water is clear. And the natural state of you is happy.

Beautiful.

It's too easy though, right? So we go back on the journey, back to earning our happiness, back to defending it.

And yet every authentically happy person I've ever met has had the same message: you can't become happy, you can only be happy.

Have a great day!

http://www.chrismorris.com/blog/2009/10/the-ways-of-happiness/