We all start out as females in the womb and later those babies whom biology has determined are to have male physical characteristics develop into males. Those designated to have female physical characteristics continue to develop into females.

As soon as a boy child and a girl child are born, society treats them differently. Blue is the colour for boys and although their mother can get away to some extent with adding frills and lace to their baby costumes, society dictates that their maleness is acknowledged and respected. Girls, on the other hand, are treated with less respect and are immediately put into pink, ultra feminine, over the top costumes, dripping with lace and frills, and silks and satins.

Once out of babyhood, the paths of the boy and girl diverge significantly. For the boy, he is "breeched", allowed the privilege of wearing trousers and his clothing is plain and practical. Even on formal occasions, a boy will not be made to wear feminine frills and lace. For the girl, her path is effectively an extended period of babyhood. She has to wear frilly underwear, pantyhose or frilly anklets, mary janes, dainty frocks and has to wear her hair long so that ribbons can be put into it. On formal occasions, when the girl has to be a bridesmaid for example, her clothes will be even more feminine and restrictive.

The differences are not only in clothing. Boys and girls are treated differently. A boy has more freedom and fewer rules and is indulged. A girl is kept on a tight lease, made to be demure, submissive and ladylike and has chores to do and gets little thanks or notice. The message conveyed is that boys are there to be indulged and girls are there to serve them.

At school and for the rest of her life, the girl generally has to wear a dress or skirt and frilly underwear and long hair. The boy continues in trousers, pants and short hair. Women not only have to wear skirts and dresses, but dainty lingerie, stockings and high heels.

The assumption is that males are the stronger, more logical and more practical sex and that females are weaker, more emotionally unstable and frivilous and the ultra feminine clothes that they are made to wear serve to reinforce that impression.

Which though is the stronger sex? Biologically, females have greater endurance and on average live longer and have the ability to conceive, carry and bear children, which makes the female indispensible. Girls and women also mature earlier than boys and men, which gives them a big advantage at school, and is one reason why girls are doing so well academically whilst boys are falling further and further behind. Females are intellectually and emotionally stronger than males, better at focusing on goals, better organised, better team players, better at multi-tasking and better at using technology. Even physically, although the male has a head start in terms of muscle development, if girls and women put their minds to it and work out they can equal and then surpass males physically. The scope for males to develop much more muscle than they already have is limited so females can at least equal them in this area.

Women were forced to be feminine and were forcibly feminised in the past because males deluded society (and themselves) that they were superior and kept women in their place in the home. Women in the past and even to this day unwittingly support the myth of male superiority by continuing to feminise their daughters. Clever, talented girls are held back because they are forced to be feminine whilst their less clever brothers are pushed towards being masculine and to hold leadership roles they are not qualified for.

This is changing though, as it is increasingly becoming evident that it is the female who is superior and that she is rising to leadership of society, in spite of their being feminised and pressured to be beautiful rather than assertive. Males are aware of this and whilst a small minority welcome this development, most are at best confused and some are terrified at the prospect of the inevitability of female domination.

Girls are aware of their superiority over boys and that most of them are more masculine than boys are. All but the most girliest of girls must resent the frills and lace they have to wear and the urge to be pretty rather than smart whilst the boys have the privilege of trousers and not being required to be pretty and being assumed to be smart.

For the last hundred years or so, woman has managed to become more masculine in order to succeed in gaining equality and superiority over man and she is becoming more masculine as time moves on. Males, aware of their inferiority and confused and demotivated by their rapidly disappearing status, are becoming more feminine in nature.

Woman will one day gain control of society and reason that it is for the inferior male to wear the clothes that show and reinforce his femininity, the dress, skirt, high heels and the pretty, dainty, frilly underwear that symbolises pure femininity, whilst the female assumes masculine dress as the superior, more masculine sex. In the new order, a boy baby will be put into a pink, lacy baby frock, bonnet and frilly rhumba pants whilst his sister will be put into a plain blue romper suit.

Once out of babyhood, the girl will graduate to trousers and allowed the freedom to realise her full potential and natural masculinity. Her brother will have the extended period of babyhood in gingham frocks, frilled knickers and anklets, wearing mary janes, perhaps with hosiery, with his hair long or perhaps in ringlets with ribbons and other hair accessories added. He will be encouraged to be pretty and kept under strict rules. He will be made to play with dolls to reinforce his femininity and role as a nurterer and live in a sedate, feminine enviroment. The effect of wearing feminine clothes will induce passivity and submissive behaviour in the boy and bring out his natural femininity.

At school, the girl will score high academically in trousers, the boy will attend in a skirt, blouse, pretty panties and pantyhouse, with his hair still long and maybe still in ribbons and and be encouraged towards homemaking and beauty rather than serious academic study. The girl will go on to university and a career whilst the boy will leave school and become a waitress, maid or secretary, wearing the short skirts, make up, high heels and dainty underwear such a role demands until an assertive, successful and more masculine girl takes him for her husband. The feminine husband will be the homemaker, attired in a dress or skirt during the day, in an elegant gown with his hair styled in a feminine fashion when he has to play his role as trophy husband, and in bed, wearing a basque, lace thong or silky french knickers, sexy stilettos, stockings and suspenders to please a demanding wife.

Femininity is a construct of society and can be imposed on anyone, regardless of their genetic sex. Males imposed it upon females and soon it will be in the power of females to take revenge and impose it upon the male. I hope that day comes soon for the world will be a better place when women and men are in their rightful roles and dress.

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Reveal itself Now

There has been a drastic shift in the business and gender debate in the past twenty years. Now, psychologists are not asking if women can survive in the business world but instead are researching how women can use their specific communication style as an advantage. Equally important, women are supporting each other in their leadership roles. Linda Hirshman, author of "Get to Work: A Manifesto for Women of the World," wrote in The Seattle Times about how presidential candidate Hilary Clinton may be counting on women's votes to become the leader of the country. By allowing women to relate to her, through tactics such as "[announcing] her candidacy for president while sitting on her living-room couch," Clinton, pictured to the right, may be able to get more female votes. Additionally, another article in The Business Review cites how successful businesswoman Melinda Wickley has recently joined the board of Women Executives Leading Empowering and Developing (WeLead), which is dedicated to "[empowering] women in leadership roles." However, as Hirshman noted, outside support is not enough for women to become successful businesspeople and leaders. The challenges that they face through stereotypes and miscommunication call for independent and resourceful personalities.

One of the main challenges women face in the business world is in dealing with gender differences. Psychologists have been researching the causes of such dissimilarities for years-are they caused by nature or nurture? A staff writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, Joe Garofoli, reports on Louann Brizendine's ideas about the neurological differences between the sexes. This neuropsychiatrist has recently argued in her book The Female Brain that women are simply wired differently, which causes the difference between men and women's actions in the workplace (the nature theory). She believes that women are, however, equally intelligent as men and simply need alternate accommodations in the business world.

No matter what the cause, nearly all psychologists agree that there are large communication gaps between genders that can cause miscommunication at work. Candy Tymson, a business communication expert with a background in public relations and marketing, separates communication into two broad styles. She categorizes men under the "Information Style," in which the focus of communication is to "preserve independence and negotiate and maintain status." In contrast, women more often utilize a "Relationship Style" by using verbal communication to establish bonds and "[negotiate] relationships." Therefore, women in managerial positions are more likely to seek outside advice to form relationships, and businessmen may see this as weak and as a demotion of the woman's status. Tymson also notes differences in nonverbal communication. During a presentation, a man will interpret a woman's close attention and continual nodding as an acceptance of their proposal. Yet this is another way for women to establish bonds and show they are listening. Deborah Tannen echoes many of these ideas in "You Just Don't Understand." Although not her most recent argument on the topic, the highly respected Tannen nonethtless makes valid points. She agrees that men use communication to establish their status, while women do so to establish relationships. This creates problems when women supervise men, because "for men, doing what [they are] asked to do means they have lost status in that relationship." Women in leadership positions need to carefully approach male subordinates about completing tasks or accepting blame for mistakes. What women view as politeness or ways to facilitate the ease of conversation, men may mistake for weakness or lower status.

There is an apparent tension between women becoming successful leaders and being unable to communicate successfully with their male counterparts. How can women solve this dilemma, and can they become even better leaders than men? One of the two communication mistakes that women consistently make when dealing with men is to constantly apologize when they have done nothing wrong, as a way to lubricate conversation, and thank others unnecessarily. While other women will understand that "thank you" and "sorry" are often not meant literally, men often perceive both as a way to lower status by accepting help or blame. A specialist on gender communication, Simma Lieberman, makes some other useful suggestions. Businesswomen should work on "[getting] get to bottom line quickly and succinctly," being patient when men are reluctant to solve problems collectively, and only asking for aid when needed. It is important to note, however, that they should not totally suppress their natural communication tendencies. Instead, women should simply be more aware of the consequences and possible misinterpretations of utilizing certain communication styles when working with men. It ought to be evident that women's communication skills can be a strong asset in the business world, which has led some to surmise that women make better leaders in many situations. Of course, these broad suppositions about men and women are generalizations, and do not apply to all men or women-furthermore, they simply highlight the general differences between genders.

Carlinn Flora of Psychology Today believes just that-their collaborative communication style allows women to pass on important knowledge to subordinates (pictured to the left is the Forbes list of the top 100 women in 2006, many of which are business leaders). Additionally, her fellow author for Psychology Today, Lisa Mainiero, noticed in her study of successful women that "they tend to be better listeners, to have more insight into people, to come right out and say what they think, and not pull any punches." These women were able to climb the corporate ladder by behaving bluntly and honestly, working assiduously, thinking creatively, and taking responsibility. This fusion of female communication skills reformatted to fit into the business sphere is what women need to be successful leaders.

Dojos commonly advertise that they build self discipline, confidence, and self-respect. How is it that participating in a pseudo-military subculture builds these qualities? It occurred to me this morning that a lot of men probably participate in martial arts because they realize (perhaps subconsciously) that for the most part, all they have to do to earn the respect of other men is to behave properly (the way they "should" be behaving anyway) and persevere. When men begin to see that it is within their ability to make other men respect them, this acts as a foundation for self-respect.

.Pulitzer Prize winning feminist, Susan Faludi, in her book titled "Stiffed, The Betrayal of the American Man", puts forward an idea that masculinity is in crisis in modern America because of a shift in cultural norms that has left men dis-empowered to exercise the power that they were brought up to believe that they "should" have. Very basically, societal norms raise boys to be masculine, then those same cultural norms make it uncool to be masculine as a man. Masculinity remains a desireable goal for boys (and their mothers) while it has become a collection of undesirable traits to have as a man. While I certainly don't count as a feminist and Susan Faludi is not really a heroine of mine, parts of her book are compelling.

.Some of the radio preachers I like to listen to like to make the point that in 'normal' relationships (whatever those are) women crave love and men crave "respect". Some men can find this potential for respect within themselves by participating in the martial arts. Some sociologists have even suggested that men go to war primarily in order to participate in a subculture that celebrates masculinity and offers the potential for men to receive respect from other men.

.My teacher discussed with us at times over the years that one of the beneficial things he has found that aikido and judo do for people is that they teach men to be less dysfunctional in their masculinity and they teach women to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy physical contact. The degree to which this teaches women to accept the love they crave is material for another essay (or book), and probably one that I am unqualified to write, but I can say that aikido and judo do help men operate in a manner that facilitates the respect that they crave.

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