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One of the issues that evenly seems to come up on social media these being is whether dwell in have any furnish attempting to order the sort of language used by others. I have seen multitudinous people ask others to stop using stated words and in addition to mum them or plea them as misogynists seeing that they hot air to do so. Inhabit on the signal end of this evenly moan of "censorship" candid while this term from time to time seems to abuse. I can understand how both sides in these disputes feel, and I disgust to see them enlarge to the point where communication ends. But this was not constantly true. In this position, I aim to explain how I came to be able to see both sides and what I cerebral about individually in the way.

As I have in print ahead of, I tend to avoid filthiness and gendered slurs in my writing voguish. I do so not seeing that I am with ease knock over or excessively starchy but seeing that I find that such language adds fresh acknowledge. I will use two potentially displeasing words methodically in this position as examples to demonstrate what I have cerebral about how our experience informs the meaning we glue to words and the emotional reactions we have to stated words. These two words are "bitch" and "cunt." If either of both of these words bothers you to the point where you cannot resign yourself to seeing them on the area, you have been warned.

BITCH

Behind I was embryonic up, "bitch" was a word you would collect very methodically in my the populace of friends. You would collect it with knock down pervasiveness from girls and boys; nonetheless, if you listened enviously, you would note that it evenly had a fairly defiant meaning depending on the gender of the person using it.

Behind boys used "bitch" to count again a girl, they were expressing a fastidious sort of dissatisfaction with her demeanor. It was first-class recurrent to collect a boy plea a girl's demeanor as "bitchy" or to authentic that she was "being a bitch" than it was to collect him call her "a bitch." In central part, "bitch" was used for instance a girl did not do whatever thing the boy wanted her to do. It wasn't as far afield of an misuse as it was an bearing of exasperation.

"Bitch" designed whatever thing very defiant for instance boys and girls used it to count again boys. It communicated deficiency and unrelated matter. "He's just a bitch" was a derogatory charge of a fastidious sort. It communicated that the sucker was in us and was not strong enough to worry about. A boy who possibly will sting your ass would not be called a bitch. Girls used "bitch" to count again boys with whom they were unresponsive and regarded as not abuse an property of time or attention (e.g., "Nah, he's just a bitch." Astonishingly, "bitch" in this context had code to do with sexual influence. I cannot raise up test any of my friends call unlike boy "a bitch" seeing that he was suspected of being gay. Impart were option words that would be used in such a case.

Since boys and girls used "bitch" in the fantastically way for instance referring to boys, girls had a defiant meaning for instance they used the word to count again option girls. Amongst girls, "bitch" spartanly designed "I don't like her" or "She's hard to get swallow with." It did not communicate deficiency and was not that far afield of an misuse. I from time to time saw it lead to fights or infect friendships. I candid raise up girls using it to count again their friends for instance they were wreck over whatever thing honestly barely.

I grew up test "bitch" very evenly. Based on my experiences with its use and meaning amid my peer group, I regarded it as no big concord until I was well into college. I deceptively believed that my experience of the word's use and meaning was illustrative and that it was no big concord for others either. I would finally learn that I was untrue about this, but it would critical remark me awhile to do so.

CUNT

In sharp variation to the attraction of "bitch" in my the populace of friends epoch embryonic up, "cunt" was a word you would from time to time have heard. It was deliberate a far first-class most distant word and was only rolled out in stated situations. To this day, I sometimes have a nails-on-a-chalkboard sort of greeting for instance I collect it.

Every boys and girls used, made-up it in the region of lock, stock and barrel at girls, and give to did not figure to be far afield of a difference in how they would mean it. "Cunt" was the single best misuse that possibly will be lobbed at a girl, and it was near enough constantly used out of basis anger on the way to the sucker. It was used for instance "bitch" was deemed very little to drawback the anger the speaker felt on the way to the sucker. It was invented to wreck, impair, and debase the sucker. It was used to communicate whatever thing swallow the lines of "You are a stupid tear up of shit, and I feel code for you but charade." It was not a word that was tossed various happily. A boy who called a girl "cunt" in assumption of her boyfriend was going to get hit. A girl who called unlike girl "cunt" was in the region of unquestionably signaling that they would be enemies for very some time.

Based on my experiences with "cunt" and its meaning amid my peer group, I assigned it to the fantastically relatives as numerous racial slurs in that it was a so rabble-rousing conversation power point. What time again, I deceptively believed that my experience was illustrative and that others would have associated reactions to the word as I did. And later again, it would critical remark me awhile to understand my gaffe.

Learning FROM OTHERS

School provided me with the upcoming to get to request people not only from defiant parts of the U.S. but from changed option countries. I would procure that option people had extremely defiant experiences with these words, assigned defiant meanings to them, and had very defiant emotional reactions to their use.

I open that "bitch" was interpreted as sexist and candid fairly misogynistic by some women. The first few times I encountered this, I was confused seeing that this seemed very a distance from how I saw the word used. Upon matter, I realized that they had a true point about how "bitch" was sometimes used by men to count again women. Impart was evenly an aspect of social control (i.e., adapt to my wants or likelihood being labeled as a bitch). I else cerebral what was designed by gendered slurs and how they differed from option sorts of be violent towards. These new experiences showed me that I was harm to swallow any person wordless "bitch" as I did. The finish was that I ephemerally idle using the word. Why? In the role of I cerebral that its use possibly will with ease lead to miscommunication and throb feelings. Since I understand that I am not responsible for others' feelings, I would prefer to avoid miscommunication and the wrong idea where expected.

Behind it comes to "cunt," I would have a very defiant sort of experience. I in a straight line open that some people from stated countries (I'm looking at you voguish, Britain) seemed to use "cunt" methodically as an bearing of enjoyable dissatisfaction with role. The first few times I encountered this, I awareness I had wondered into a den of misogynists. And yet, the women were using "cunt" as evenly as the men. I wasn't border on what to make of it to begin with, but it turned out that these dwell in had grown up with a very defiant meaning of the word than anything I had well-informed. At the fantastically time, I would find that numerous others - certainly women from the U.S. I met in college - had experiences that were very associated to my own. So epoch numerous unfinished the meaning and emotional connotations to the term with which I was stop trading, numerous others did not.

In "cunt," I didn't have to give up using it seeing that I was not using it in the first place. For instance I did give up was the drive to perfectly or crack individuals who were using it. Why? I attributed that we had extremely defiant experiences with the word, designed defiant possessions by the word, and had defiant emotional reactions to the word. I had no occurrence to retain that spokesperson was one way or another first-class stringent or first-class right than theirs.

IMPLICATIONS FOR Unreserved MEDIA

I have no problem with role who decides to unfollow or unfriend role on social media for mindlessly using language with which that person items (even though preventive them and/or newspaper journalism them seems a bit utter). If I run with a leg on each side of role on Bring in who seems to need to highlight "cunt" in every peek, I'm exterior to branch them either. I retrieve that I may miss out on some handy on cloud nine by feign so, but if it bothers me enough, I'll critical remark that windfall.

I do critical remark issue with individuals who mindlessly scorn others for using language they do not like by calling them names. I find this hypocritical, counterproductive, and unthinking. Performance so seems to be based on the harm deduce that others have unfinished one's experiences with these words and are using them with the fantastically meaning. It else communicates the belief that others essential adapt their demeanor to fit with one's impending. Scolding about privilege! I else critical remark issue with efforts to preemptively mum someone who muscle have differing opinions with one's quality and plea individuals one is preemptively preventive as "abusers" or "harassers" without style.

From top to bottom, I critical remark issue with individuals who authentic that being asked to rattle from calling people names on the Internet is censorship. It is not. Equally, being unfollowed, unfriended, or candid stopped up by role who has had a defiant experience with the words you use is not censorship. Maybe the struggle possibly will be made that mechanized preemptive preventive comes close to censorship if it results in one's description being suspended, but utmost specific efforts to agree on the sort of experience one has online fall far short of censorship.

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The Vineyard observes that ill-humored mane on women is an rebuff to male desire:

The best you can say about a woman with ill-humored, cropped mane is that she looks something like as good as she does with long mane. Audrey Hepburn was a classic go-between of the ingenue who looks disobediently sexy with ill-humored mane. But hairy photos of Audrey prove that she looked undiluted better with her locks out and about for a agile frolic.

Pure the near-universal catalog of men for longer-haired women, it is next a mystery why women fashion their mane off. Don't women want to satisfy men? They do, but cultural and sex tariff shifts can pluck out how softly or forcefully women feel the need to mollify the sexual preferences of men.

The resume perform ill-humored mane styles were far away trendy on women (as well as flapper dresses which unnoticed the female form) was the Raging Twenties, a time of feminism, suffrage, intensified status striving, and embryonic down favoritism. Noise familiar?We can undiluted appraise the quantity to which a woman cutting her mane reduces her sexual sell like hot cakes regard. The difference involving separation from long mane to chin-length mane reduces a woman's SMV by 15 percent. Separation undiluted shorter probably knocks it down distinctive 5 percent.

Suited to put it in direction, that 15-percent get thinner is the complement of separation from a D-cup to proper exhausted or from delicate to chunky. So, if you're a woman who has ever weather-beaten a push-up bra or worked out, keep in mind that cutting your mane off will cancel out all your other pains to look attractive to men.

Excessively, as Gavin McInnes points out, ill-humored mane is rape:

Forceful your mane ill-humored seemed like a good idea at the time. Doubtless your boyfriend dumped you and you're looking to reinvent yourself. Doubtless you think a "imp cut" is a cute new look. Doubtless you find it empowering to relay a zero-maintenance 'do and you want to be free to transform on your work without being hit on all the time. In all personal belongings, you are saying "yes" to yourself and "no" to us. This is brush over fine if you want to observe out of society for the blind date or so it takes to grow your mane back, but if you're still horsing impart with us, it's above than unpleasant. It's rape. And rape is disreputable. So don't cut your damn mane. Alpha Competition 2011

"Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning."

-Mahatma Gandhi

V. How to think like an NLP Master

To understand any model, you must first know its underlying assumptions. The NLP Basic Presuppositions presented in this chapter lay the groundwork for everything that will follow. You do not have to believe them. But to learn the NLP Model and to get the results described in this book, you do need to begin by "acting as if" they are true.

As NLP practitioners, we are not interested in arriving at or claiming knowledge of some Ultimate Truth; we are interested in what is possible for each individual. By inviting people to "try on" the NLP Presuppositions, we have helped thousands to go beyond their perceived limitations. We now ask you to see for yourself how they will make a difference in the way you perceive the world and in the rewarding results you get.

If you think that these presuppositions are written in stone as universal truths, then you run the risk of becoming a fundamentalist - rigid, defensive and thinking you know what's best or right. Only by remembering that they are useful assumptions, will they promote increased flexibility, openness to change and enhanced communication.

To know how an NLP masters think, you will need to understand their assumptions.

Implementing an NLP technique without understanding the NLP Presuppositions is like playing a sport without knowing the rules.

When traveling to a foreign country, we inevitably encounter some very different cultural beliefs and values. If we don't recognize these distinctions, we will become confused and a series of miscommunications will likely follow. Entering into an NLP classroom is a bit like stepping into another world, so learning the NLP presuppositions will prepare you for the journey.

NLP was first developed by modeling the excellence demonstrated by various leaders in the field of psychology and interpersonal communication. These exemplars included Milton Erickson M.D., Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Gregory Bateson. The NLP Presuppositions come from beliefs that they held and the methods that they used.

We invite you to "step into" each one of the following presuppositions and consider how the world looks, sounds and feels when you do.

The Six NLP Presuppositions:

I. The Meaning of Your Communication is the Response You Get-No Matter What Your Intentions

According to this presupposition, the "meaning" of our communication is all about how the other person responds to us. If the other person is insulted, then that is the meaning of our communication. If the other person becomes angry, sad or happy, then that is the meaning of our communication.

It we are typing on a computer keyboard and aiming to hit the letter "z" but instead hit the key to the right, then "x" is the meaning of our communication. Another example: While teaching in Europe and typing on the computers there, I (S.L.) discovered that every time I went to hit the "z" key, a "y" appeared on the screen. After awhile I realized that the European keyboard had the "x" and "y" keys reversed. Interpersonal communication works the same way. It involves the realization that every person we meet has his/her internal keyboard configured differently. Our ability to figure that out is the "key" to effective communication.

A common response to the computer-key reversal, when you are not using this presupposition, is to blame the foreign keyboard, thinking that it is broken, that something is wrong with it or that it's not working properly. Or we can blame ourselves, thinking that we are the problem. Of course, we can also fault the foreigners who built it.

Of course, a computer doesn't have a will of it's own (at least, not yet). So let's leave the metaphor and return to human interactions. When we do, we see another person who is responsible for his/her part. So while we are not suggesting that we take responsibility for the other person's behavior, we are proposing taking full responsibility for ours, since it is really the only thing that we can directly do something about. But we caution you here. Responsibility, as we are defining it, is not about blaming or feeling guilty. It is about accepting the response you are getting while generating other ways to get the response you are looking for. This is the idea behind this presupposition.

When we communicate, we often we get the response we're looking for - as when a comedian gets laughs or a storyteller inspires wonder. But there are times when a comedian gets silence or a storyteller elicits boredom. The best comedians and storytellers are excellent communicators who pay close attention to the responses they are getting. If a responses doesn't match what they are looking for they recognize it and use their flexibility to modify what they're doing until they get the response they want. While this flexibility can come from being well prepared -having practiced their skills for many hours, days, months or years - it must also come from their ability to think on their feet and be spontaneous.

Well what if you tell a joke and one person laughs and another gets angry? Does that mean the meaning of your communication is different for each person? Yes. It does. To be effective means to be responsive to the behavior of each individual.

Milton Erickson, looked forward to the times when he was working with a client and the technique he usually used, didn't work. He remained incredibly curious. And while in this state of wonder, he gathered more information, varying his approach until he got the intended response.

Resistance is a statement about the inflexibility of the communicator.

When I (S.L.), started learning NLP in the 1980s, I was also working as a mathematics teacher at an alternative high school in Brooklyn, New York. I had a student, Maritza, who was doing outstanding work. But when I attempted to pay her a compliment she responded, "I am a terrible math student." Even after trying to prove her excellence by quoting her test scores, she continued to protest and again resisted the complement. At this point, it was clear that the meaning of my communication was not matching my intended communication. Recognizing that I was becoming frustrated, I shifted my state of mind to one of curiosity and found myself saying to Maritza in a calm soft voice, "For someone who considers herself to be a terrible math student (LONG PAUSE), you are doing really, really well." A big smile appeared on her face. "Thank you," she responded, as she drew in a deep breath along with the compliment. To get the response I wanted, I had listened attentively for what was true for her. Instead of disagreeing, I joined Maritza's experience by accepting her presupposition as her truth and leading her to a place where she could, in turn accept what I was saying. (I also realized that further work would be required for her to let go of her self- limiting belief and create a more positive opinion of herself.)

The inherent beauty of this presupposition is in its effective and efficient "guilt free" approach that develops greater flexibility of behavior resulting in the response we want. And even when we are not getting the response we want, we still benefit. The Presupposition gets us to be creative, by coming up with new solutions. In the process we get to build a vast repertoire of stored possibilities for future use. For NLP Practitioners, it is a new definition of responsibility that is light, energizing and liberating - not heavy, pressurized and blameful. Responsibility is not seen as a burden, but as an empowering criterion that can give us opportunities to transform relationships.

But even if you choose to adopt this Presupposition, not everybody will. Which means, "Be prepared to be blamed" by people unaware of or unwilling to take responsibility. You can either join that other person in the "blame frame" or you can maintain an NLP perspective. In other words, you are either going to revert back into a "stuck state" or be resourceful. And in doing the latter, you are modeling a healthy way of communicating. But be forewarned, most people don't like to be left alone in the blame frame. They will try to pull you in. And some can be very persuasive. Then again, maybe you can persuade them.

What if we do attempt to have another person accept what we have found to be a very useful Presupposition and he/she still declines, resists or refuses? If he/she does, then his/her behavior is the meaning of our communication and we can explore other ways of communicating. Some of us can become so enamored with our own "useful" maps, that we might find ourselves "pushing" our ideas on others. When this happens, we frequently stop listening while the other person feels ignored. People have the choice to reject our premises. Understanding their choice will contribute to making you a more effective communicator.

If you ever find yourself introducing a wonderful, excellent, positive, healthy idea to someone and getting frustrated and angry when they resist, then you know it's time to take on this presupposition.

You will be amazed at how much more influential you'll become - not to mention how much better you'll feel - when you adopt this Presupposition and model it for others.

The NLP Center of New York Copyright 2013.

The NLP Center of New York: Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Hypnosis

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The Overtone of Women Flick Correspondents has announced the nominees for the 2011 AWFJ EDA Awards.Yet again, the leader leaving in is the voiceless memo levy from France, "THE Doer" by Michel Hazanavicius. It time-honored nine nominations together with Longest Flick, Handbook, Creative Words and Recitalist (Jean Dujardin).Substantial well with with six nominations each were Alexander Payne's "THE Species" and Martin Scorsese's "HUGO". All were drink for Longest Flick, Handbook and Bespoke Words.Then drink for Longest Flick were Lars von Trier's "MELANCHOLIA "and Forested Allen's "MIDNIGHT IN PARIS". Von Trier, although, missed out on a Handbook nomination with Terrence Malick plunder the fifth standing.The Longest Flick nomination for "MELANCHOLIA" is a stunning put side by side amongst the AWFJ and the Women Flick Critics Chime, which gave "MELANCHOLIA" a mistrust garland for Critical Feminine Descriptions. The AWFJ gave it three in addition nominations together with one for Longest Diagram Of Helplessness, Sexuality, or Seduction. They cool their scoff for pompous venerable targets such as "JACK AND JILL" and "Con Poke".The winners will be announced on January 10, 2012.
Spread Scurry OF 2011 EDA AWARDS NOMINEESAWFJ Longest OF AWARDSLongest Flick"THE Doer""THE Species""HUGO""MELANCHOLIA""MIDNIGHT IN PARIS"Longest HandbookForested Allen - "MIDNIGHT IN PARIS"Michel Hazanavicius - "THE Doer"Terrence Malick - "TREE OF Spark"Alexander Payne - "THE Species"Martin Scorsese - "HUGO"Longest Words, Creative"THE Doer" - Michel Hazanavicius"BEGINNERS" - Mike Mills"BRIDESMAIDS" - Kristin Wiig and Annie Mumolo"MIDNIGHT IN PARIS" - Forested Allen"WIN WIN" - Thomas McCarthyLongest Words, Bespoke"THE Species" - Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash"HUGO" - John Logan"MONEYBALL" - Steven Zallian and Aaron Sorkin"Trifle, Fashion, Combatant, SPY" - Bridget O'Connor and Peter Straughan"WE Secure TO Speech On the subject of KEVIN" - Lynne Ramsey and Rory KinnearLongest Documentary"Piece of legislation CUNNINGHAM NEW YORK""Buck""Hideaway OF Onwards Dreams""THE INTERRUPTERS""PINA""Hurtle NIM"Longest Active Flick"ARTHUR CHRISTMAS""KUNG FU PANDA""PUSS IN BOOTS""RANGO""TINTIN"Longest PerpetratorViola Davis - Abileen Clark in "THE Gifts"Kirsten Dunst - Justine in "MELANCHOLIA"Meryl Streep - Margaret Thatcher in "THE Glib Lord"Tilda Swinton - Eva Khatchadourian in "WE Secure TO Speech On the subject of KEVIN"Michelle Williams - Marilyn Monroe in "MY WEEK Later MARILYN"Longest Perpetrator in a Adherent ComponentBernice Bejo - Peppy Miller in "THE Doer"Jessica Chastain - Celia Foote in "THE Gifts"Janet McTeer - Hubert Buzz in "ALBERT NOBBS"Carey Mulligan - Sissy Sullivan in "Rebuff"Octavia Spencer - Minny Jackson in "THE Gifts"Longest RecitalistGeorge Clooney - Matt Ruler in "THE Species"Jean Dujardin - George Valentin in "THE Doer"Michael Fassbinder - Brandon Sullivan in "Rebuff"Brad Pitt - Billy Beane in "MONEYBALL"Michael Shannon - Curtis in "Take Place of safety"Longest Recitalist in a Adherent ComponentKenneth Brannagh - Sir Laurence Olivier in "MY WEEK Later MARILYN"Albert Brooks - Bernie Rose in "Propel"Christopher Plummer - Hal Fields in "BEGINNERS"Alan Rickman - Lecturer Severus Snape in "Harry POTTER AND THE Deathly HALLOWS: Cause a rift II"Andy Serkis - in "Slope OF THE Furrow OF THE APES"Longest Spouse Discharge"BRIDESMAIDS""THE Species""THE Gifts""Series Scream""MIDNIGHT IN PARIS"Longest Restriction"THE Doer" - Anne-Sophie Bion and Michel Hazanavicius"Schoolgirl Later THE DRAGON TATTOO" - Kirk Baxter and Angus Section"HUGO" - Thelma Schoonmaker"TREE OF Spark" - Hank Corwin, Jay Rabinowitz, Daniel Rezende, Billy Weber, Mark Yoshikawa"WARHORSE" - Michael KahnLongest Taking photos"THE Doer" - Guillaume Schiffman"HUGO" - Robert Richardson"MELANCHOLIA" - Manuel Alberto Claro"TREE OF Spark" - Emmanuel Lubezki"WARHORSE" - Janusz KaminskiLongest Flick Music Or Count "THE Doer" - Ludovic Bource, Creative Count"Schoolgirl Later THE DRAGON TATTOO" - Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, Creative Count"HANNAH" - The Chemical Brothers, Creative CountLongest Non-English-Language Flick"LE HAVRE" - Aki Kaurismaki, Finland/France"PINA" - Wim Wenders, Germany"A Tax exile" - Ashgar FarhadI, Iran"THE Hide from view I Flesh and blood IN" - Pedro Almodovar, Spain"TROLLHUNTER" - Andr'e Ovredal, NorwayEDA Feminine Concentrate AWARDSLongest Mortal HandbookLynne Ramsey - "WE Secure TO Speech On the subject of KEVIN"Dee Rees - "Outsider"Vera Farmiga - "Arrogant Province"Kelly Reichardt - "MEEK'S CUTOFF"Jennifer Yuh - "KUNG FU PANDA"Longest Mortal WriterDiablo Cody - "Unripe Significant"Abi Morgan - "THE Glib Lord"Lynne Ramsey and Rory Kinnear - "WE Secure TO Speech On the subject of KEVIN"Dee Rees - "Outsider"Kristin Wiig and Annie Mumolo - "BRIDESMAIDS"Stir Ass Ornament For Longest Feminine Scheme Maiden nameRooney Mara - Lisbeth Salander in "Schoolgirl Later THE DRAGON TATTOO"Helen Mirren - Rachel Singer in "The Damage"Paula Patton - Jane in "MISSION: Unworkable - Phantom Behavior"Saoirse Ronan - Hanna in "HANNA"Zoe Saldana - Cataleya in "COLOMBIANA"Longest Active FeminineEmily Plainspoken as Juliet in "GNOMEO AND JULIET"Isla Fisher as Beans in "RANGO"Anne Hathaway as Jewel in "RIO"Salma Hayak as Combine Softpaws in "PUSS IN BOOTS"Angelina Jolie - Tigress in "KUNG FU PANDA"Longest Creative idea FeignJessica Chastain as Mrs. O'Brien in "TREE OF Spark"Elizabeth Olsen as Martha, Marcy May and Marlene in "MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE"Adepero Oduye as Related in "Outsider"Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander in "THE Schoolgirl Later THE DRAGON TATTOO"Shailene Woodley as Alexandra Ruler in "THE Species"Feminine Appearance OrnamentGlenn Point as Albert Nobbs in "ALBERT NOBBS"Viola Davis as Abileen Clark in "THE Gifts"Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher in "THE Glib Lord"Perpetrator Defying Age and AgeismGlenn Point as Albert Nobbs in "ALBERT NOBBS"Judi Dench as Anna Marie Hoover in "J. EDGAR"Helen Mirren as Rachel Singer in "THE Damage"Vanessa Redgrave as Volumnia in "CORIOLANUS"Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher in "THE Glib Lord"This Year's Stunning Capability By A Mortal In The Flick CommercialJessica Chastain for performances in four correctly professional cinemaThelma Schoonmaker for cutting "HUGO"Stacey Snider for helming "DREAMWORKS"Kristin Wiig for "BRIDESMAIDS"AWFJ Ornament Breed ActivismSandra Bullock for tsunami postponementElaine Hendrix for Animal Transfer Company and In Funding of NatureAngelina Jolie for UN work and making In The Position of Milk and Blood to get taller contract about genocide.Elizabeth Taylor for her work with AIDSOlivia Wilde for postponement work in HaitiEDA Privileged Footnote AWARDSAWFJ Playground Of Rebuff OrnamentThe Hollywood Relator for negligent to set up any women to join the Directors Roundtable"I Liquefy Later YOU", labor and cast"JACK AND JILL", labor and cast"Whatever thing Borrowed", labor and cast"Con Poke", labor and castPerpetrator Ceiling in Secure Of A New DemonstrativeJennifer AnistonKate HudsonSarah Jessica ParkerAmanda SeyfriedAll actresses in "NEW YEAR'S EVE"Conceive of You Wanted To Craze But Suited Couldn't"Propel""THE Innovative""Con Poke""Trifle, Fashion, Combatant, SPY""Unripe Significant"Deep-rooted Use Ornament"THE Doer" - The sound of glass clinking on the table"Propel" - The crane behold"Schoolgirl Later THE DRAGON TATTOO" - Lisbeth's justice"THE Gifts" - The pie behold"Rebuff" - Carey Mulligan before a live audience New York, New YorkLongest Diagram Of Helplessness, Sexuality, or Seduction"A Corrupt Create" - Carl Jung spanks Sabina Speilrein"Schoolgirl Later THE DRAGON TATTOO" - Lisbeth mounts Mikael"MELANCHOLIA" - Justine in the moonlight"Rebuff" - Fracture sequence on the subway train"Rebuff" - Brandon with comradeSequel or Restructure That Shouldn't Be marked with Been Complete Ornament"ARTHUR""CARS 2""HANGOVER Cause a rift II""HOODWINKED 2""TRANSFORMERS: Dismal Surf OF THE MOON"Ceiling Egregious Age Lead"ALBERT NOBBS" - Glenn Point (64) and Mia Wasikowska (22)"Schoolgirl Later THE DRAGON TATTOO" - Daniel Craig (43) and Rooney Mara (26)"MIDNIGHT IN PARIS" - Owen Wilson (43) and L'ea Seydoux (26)"Asleep Ornament" - Emily Browning (23) and Man 1 (Peter Carroll, 68), Man 2 (Chris Haywood, 63) and Man 3 (Hugh Keays-Byrne, 64)"TWILIGHT: Contravene Onset Cause a rift 1" - Bella (18) and Edward (over 100)

Origin: art-of-kisses.blogspot.com

Enlarge Image What does it take today to be successful? In order to assess the above question, it is vital to first define what "success" is and to identify what winning people have in common. One may assume that anyone reading this article wants to be successful. However! only 5% of people will ever achieve their potential, and 95% of people will never really be successful. By definition then, success is the realization of a worthy deal. We also need to take into account that success is different for everyone. Whatever your definition of success may be, there are five characteristics that you must have in common with other successful people in order to achieve true success. Goals are the single most important factor in achieving success. Without a sensible goal, how will you ever know when you have reached your success level. All successful people set goals. All goals must be sensible, short term, calculable and obtainable within the bounds of your own perception. As time passes, your goals can always be adjusted upward to reach your ultimate goal of success. However, if your initial goal is to be worth R1,000,000 by the year end and you are currently only worth R100,000 with an annual income of R50,000 a year and this is November, you most likely will never be able to reach it and therefore, it is unrealistic. Biting off a job in small portions makes the ultimate achievement of the entire task seem more straightforward and convenient. All successful people continually set goals, re-evaluate their goals and scale them upward toward even greater accomplishments. A positive attitude is the second factor that successful people have in common. I have never met a truly successful person who I would consider a "self made" success that did not have a positive attitude. These people relate to the world on a positive basis. They always look for the "can do" not the "can not do" side of every situation. "If you think you can or if you think you can't, you're right." All successful people truly believe not only in themselves, but in the reality of their goals. A positive attitude is contagious and when it is sincere, the people with whom you come in contact will relate to you and your activities with a vitality and positive attitude that causes a winning, successful environment. The truth is always the greatest to deal with for more than a few reasons, not the slightest significant of which is that it is at all times the easiest to keep in mind. If you are going to be successful, you will not have time, energy and capability to remember untruths, or lies that you have told people. This consumes precious energy and detracts from the power needed to run a successful life. The truth is easy to remember and generally, in the long term, easier to deal with. True winners are always prepared to face the truth in situations, and handle things as they deal with them on a timely basis and then proceed to get on with the business of running a successful, prosperous life. Never having to back track to cover up problem areas. Research and Development in contemporary times have become exceedingly imperative to all major corporations. This is where all new products and ideas develop. Successful individuals have at all times understood this principal on a personal level and they continually endeavor to develop their own abilities through such methods as official educational systems, seminars, reading books, listening to ideas and the thoughts of others in any way that presents itself to them. Successful people sincerely believe they can improve themselves and constantly strive to seek techniques and means that will assist them to achieve this goal. They also know that there is a price to pay for this success although the return on an investment is at times great and at times small. "Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it." -Henry Ford Man's aptitude over all other creatures on this Earth is the aptitude to think. All successful people use this faculty to improve their lives and control their own destiny. Only you can take the first step toward the unleashing of the power within your own mind. The power is overwhelming and at times can be frightening. However, man has abilities of the mind that many people cannot or would not believe. Anthony Robbins has recently written a book entitled "Unlimited Power" which explains in simple terms the theories of Neuro Linguistic Programming, the power of the mind and how to gain control and use it. NLP was originally developed by John Grinder and Richard Bandler as a communication system using the central nervous system. Through this system Mr. Robbins has put forth a complete outline on how to unleash your "performance power" and achieve goals that before you probably felt were impossible. The initial step in using your true mental abilities, is understanding what Mr. Robbins refers to as the seven triggering mechanisms that is sure success. 1. Passion - All truly successful people such as Lee Iacocca have a driving force within them that sets them apart from others. A desire, an energy that gives them the fuel to reach their true potential. This force is a part of them 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It never subsides. Their total existence is sustained for the fulfillment of their goals. The passion within this individual to achieve has been so deeply implanted, that their mental power is driven by this force and will not let them do anything other than achieve. 2. Belief - "They can because they think they can"-Virgil. You will only make 100,000 this year if you first believe you can. If you do not believe you can you are telling yourself you want it, but it is truly not obtainable. The truth of life is that man's limits are self imposed by what the mind is given to believe. If you expand your belief of your own abilities, you will also expand your true realm of accomplishment. A man of whom all are aware, lived his life with adversity, but he constantly believed he could achieve. With all the adversity that faced him, President Abraham Lincoln had no reason to continually try other than the fact that he believed it was his destiny and measure of success to accomplish this task. "Man is what he believes" -Anton Checkhov 3. Strategy - A strategy is your game plan of life. The road map you will use to accomplish your goals, ambitions and desires. Just to believe you can earn 100,000 a year is not enough, you must design a strategy that gives your life direction and navigates you toward success. The key to strategy is to design a proper strategy to achieve your success without the detours of life, to find the shortest distance between two points. 4. Clarity of Values - Man must first determine which things in life are most valuable to him. He must determine his feeling about such things as patriotism, pride, love, freedom, excellence, ownership and tolerance. These are values in society, the moral, ethical and fundamental judgements that we, as individuals, deem important. Without a clear system of values for ourselves, it is impossible to believe in something with a passion that has no value to us. Once we have established our individual value system we are then able to determine how we can achieve success based on our priority of values. What must we five up in one hand to accomplish what we desire on the other. Without a value system we can never move forward for we may be trading without increasing our potential for success. 5. Energy - Without the physical vitality to take action, nothing would ever come of our system to this point. The passion could build, our belief of accomplishment could be overwhelming, we could have the best strategy or map to achieve the ultimate value for our own life, but if not for taking the first step, nothing could ever be accomplished. Great success cannot be separated from physical, spiritual and mental energy that allows us, compels us, to accomplish the most with what we have to work with. Physical energy comes from the strength of the body itself fueled by our intake of nourishment. It is therefore important that we fuel our engine with premium fuel (good eating habits), not low grade regular (junk food). Our spiritual and intellectual energy evolves from our environment and it is therefore important that we assess our own personal environment to maximize the energy that we can obtain. 6. Bonding Power - We have all known people that have exhibited the ability to get along with anyone and everyone. The ability to be a chameleon is truly the ability to connect with and bond with others. The ability to build rapport. Being able to deal with others as Mr. Robbins says "To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others." To be able to understand the... 7. Mastery of Communication - To take charge and run your own mind. To learn the techniques of NLP and no longer allow our mind to run our lives, but rather take charge of our own mental abilities and cause them to work for our own accomplishment of success. At the end of the day, "There is only one Success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." - Christopher Morley

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HTTP://FRONTPAGEMAG.COM/2012/FRANK-CRIMI/SAVAGE-ESCALATION-IN-THE-WAR-ON-AFGHAN-WOMEN/

December 7, 2012 By Frank Crimi Comments (6)

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Violence against Afghan females is rapidly escalating in both frequency and savagery, its latest victim a 14-year-old girl named Gastina who was nearly decapitated with a hunting knife for refusing a marriage proposal from her 25-year-old cousin.

Gastina was walking to her home in Afghanistan's northern Kunduz province when she was attacked by her cousin Sadeq and another male relative, both of whom proceeded to break her hands and feet before slitting her throat nearly to the bone.

Gastina's ghastly death sentence was carried out because her family had reportedly turned down Sadeq's repeated marriage requests, claiming Gastina was too young for marriage. That rebuff was apparently so stinging that it necessitated Sadeq brutally murder the young teenager.

It should be noted that such horrific acts of violence are unfortunately the norm throughout Afghanistan's highly patriarchal society, where cultural and religious tenets have long allowed most Muslim men to treat women and girls little better than human chattel.

As such, Afghanistan has been named the "world's most dangerous country in which to be born a woman," a nightmarish hell where nearly 90 percent of women and girls have reportedly experienced some form of "physical, sexual or psychological violence."

Yet despite that disturbing misogynistic track record, Afghan government officials and human rights activists have found that the violence levied against woman and girls is reaching, even by Afghan standards, terrifying new heights. As an official with Afghanistan's Ministry of Women's Affairs recently said, "The violence is more severe than in previous years."

That severity was documented by Afghanistan's Independent Human Rights Commission (AIHRC), which recorded over 4,000 cases of violence against women and girls in 2012 - 550 cases in September alone - a nearly 25 percent increase from 2011.

These acts of violence include "domestic violence and abuse, torture, beatings, physical mutilation, murder, and rape." Perhaps most disturbing, AIHRC found that 80 percent of the cases involved girls under 18.

In the past two months, these acts of barbarism include a 20-year-old newlywed in Heart province beheaded by her in-laws for refusing their demands that she become a prostitute; a 16-year-old girl in Ghazni province publicly whipped over 100 times for allegedly having an affair; a woman in Herat stabbed to death by her husband for seeking work outside the home; and a 20-year-old woman in Badakhshan province who was imprisoned for several months in the home of a married couple who sexually abused, beat and tortured her.

Afghanistan, according to AIHRC, has also been plagued by an upsurge in the number of honor killings. These victims include a 30-year-old woman beheaded by her divorced husband in Ghazni province; a 22-year-old woman choked to death by her husband in Kunduz province; a 40-year-old woman beheaded by her husband in Khost province; and a 26-year-old woman in Baghlan province who was first choked to death and then burned up with boiling hot water.

While the cause that sparks these individual acts of brutality may vary, the one common theme that joins them is the involvement of family members in the majority of the cases.

To that end, the Afghan Ministry of Women's Affairs found that more than 50 percent of the victims in the nearly 500 cases of violence against women the department registered in 2012 were a result of domestic violence.

An offshoot of that familial violence also includes women and girls killing themselves each year to escape failed, and often violent, forced marriages. These marriages more often than not come complete with a torrent of physical and emotional abuse issued from the bride's husband and family.

As such, these desperate women and girls will flee their matrimonial hell through an assortment of gruesome means, such as taking rat poison or insecticides, hanging themselves, and even self-immolation.

In fact, some girls don't even wait around for the nuptials to take place. Such was the case in November 2012 when a 17-year-old girl named Farima tried to escape her impending forced marriage by jumping from her apartment building, a fall in which she survived, but broke her back.

For its part, the Afghan government has said that despite the spike in gender-based violence, it has taken proactive steps, often citing the Elimination of Violence Against Woman law (EVAW). The EVAW, which was enacted in 2009, criminalizes such things as child marriage, forced marriage and domestic abuse.

As Qodsia Niazi, an Afghan prosecutor, said, "We have dealt with 1,320 cases of violence against women since last year, mostly concerning assault, harassment, coercion to prostitution, sexual abuse and mutilation...Such trials are very effective in reducing violence against women."

Yet, not everyone agrees with that assessment. For starters, a UN report in November 2011 found that the EVAW act was rarely enforced, citing as an example the 2,299 crimes reported in 2010, of which only 155 cases, or just 7 percent, were prosecuted.

That lack of judicial zeal may stem from the fact that when Afghan women do seek help from Afghanistan's courts and police, they are often pressured by authorities to withdraw their complaints, or failing that, find themselves arrested and jailed for committing "moral crimes."

As one human rights activist has said, "The government's failure to effectively enforce the 2009 law on elimination of violence against women encourages men to believe that they can kill and attack a women with impunity."

Not surprisingly, that impunity has given an increasingly large number of women and girls precious little hope that their viscous maltreatment will end anytime soon.

That sentiment was perhaps best expressed by a young woman named Kamela, who was first married off to a 35-year-old man when she was 14. That marriage ended shortly after their wedding when he found out she had been sexually abused by her cousin, a transgression which caused him to terminate the marriage.

Upon returning home, Kamela's father, his familial honor now "disrespected," brutally beat Kamela before locking her in a barn, only to free her four months later after he sold her to a 78-year-old man for 30,000.

As Kamala said, "People are usually aggrieved with other people, but I am aggrieved at God. It would have been better if He hadn't created me in the first place if I was fated to live with so much suffering. Is there anything other than death that can help me?"

Sadly, it's a tragic question being asked by an ever increasing number of Afghan women and girls.

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Filed Under: Daily Mailer, FrontPage Tagged With: Afghanistan, attack, execution, Human Rights, violence, Women 11 Print This Post

About Frank Crimi

Frank Crimi is a San Diego-based writer and author of the book "Raining Frogs and Heart Attacks". You can read more of Frank's work at his blog,www.politicallyunbalanced.com.

Did you know the number one reason why individuals miss their opportunity to be promoted at work, increase their personal profitability and creating meaningful relationships is due to a lack of Emotional Intelligence? This is according to Harvard Business School's recent study.

The five key components of emotional intelligence (EI) are:

* Self-awareness: The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions, and drives as well as the effect they have on others
* Self-regulation: The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods, suspend judgment, and thinking before acting
* Motivation: The ability to pursue goals with energy and persistence, for reasons that go beyond money or status
* Empathy: The ability to understand people's emotional makeup
* Social skill: The ability to manage relationships, build networks, and find common ground

We would qualify and enrich these definitions during the course - For example, if you have been trying to '"control"' your impulses and moods, or putting yourself down for certain behaviours, we would like to suggest that you increase your '"choices"' of moods and impulses, and that you find reasons to pursue those new choices that provide better outcomes. This is how "real change" occurs for our coaching clients, and it is how we teach real NLP for change.

CAREERS, WORKPLACE AND BEYOND

It has been said that IQ lands you a job, and EQ keeps you in the job. These days more employers, recruitment agencies and HR specialists are recognising the importance and overidding effect of a person's EQ on individual's performance at their job, their team effectiveness and an organisation's culture.

As a sailor, I can draw upon an analogy from sailing - "apparent wind speed", which is the wind speed that is the sum of the real wind speed if you were standing still and the + or - of the wind generated by your progress through the water. Simply, it is the wind "experienced "by a moving object. I propose that increasing your EQ can change your "apparent IQ", where you choose options and answers better.

Have you ever been watching a game show and you initially say to yourself or out aloud "B, the answer is B" and your intellect takes over and says "No, it is D and you modify your answer to "D" - then the game show host says the answer was "B" (your first choice) after all. What would happen if you were able to understand the underlying process that drives you to choose the wrong answer instead of the right answer and be able to make the right decision more often? Would it be beneficial to your career, relationships and life directions?

"IMAGINE IF YOU COULD DRAW UPON THE RIGHT ANSWER MORE OFTEN IN LIFE?" It is not always the first choice as in this example. These internal messages are coming to us most of the time, we often just do not take notice... These answers or insights apply to every area of life from chosing what lane to drive in traffic, down to who to call, who to visit, what to say, and what is more important for you to spend your next 20 minutes doing. This is one of the elements of EQ that we teach - getting a greater connection with yourself. You are your best hope.

A career in "management "involves coping with "complexity"; a life of "leadership "relies on your coping with "change". As you learn to lead yourself through the skills gained on these courses, your life of leadership will spill out to others, your career and what you actually achieve in life. Can you imagine being able to give yourself honest and useful feedback? If this was a habit for you, imagine how you would grow and how congruently you could give feedback to others?

NLP MODULE I (5 DAYS), 3-7 NOV 2009, is designed to establish the foundations for BUILDING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.

Students of this type of training say that they approach life on a whole new level.

MODULE I IS PART OF THE NLP PRACTITIONER PROGRAM

We have divided our course into 3 modules, allowing you to pace your study to your needs. Module I provides the Emotional Intelligence basis, a strong connection with self, self-awareness and self-management skills. These can be used stand-alone, or to contribute towards your eventual growth with the NLP Practitioner program.

A full NLP Practioner qualification is Internationally recognized and allows you to continue with an NLP Master Practitioner certificate at a later stage with us or another NLP Training organization.

Check this out right now and get ahead of the game.

NLP Practitioner Course, Starting 3 November 2009, More Information here Or Click here To Register

The newly developed NLP Practitioner Course will be offered as a unique small group coached training in Brisbane with the first of the series starting 3 November 2009.

Enjoy the unique coaching style of training in smaller classes which has a high facilitator to student ratio, maximises your learning and ultimately your investment in the training.

WHAT'S THE CONNECTION BETWEEN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND NLP?

Not all NLP training courses make a strong link back to the EQ, but we make a point of doing so. We believe that we should be releasing students that "have "worked on themselves before they are let loose to work on others and this is what this foundational part of the course achieves.

Remember that a career in management involves coping with complexity; a life of leadership relies on your coping with change. If you want to lead, you need to be able to cope with change.

NLP is all about change and we consistently teach our students how to make changes with ecology.

We are offering certificate programs co-signed by the founders of the International Trainers Academy - John Grinder, Carmen Bostic St Clair and Michael Carroll. This course is the only one available in Australia and NZ of this type.

WHO DOES THIS SORT OF COURSE?

People who know that a pre-requisite for a better, more fulfilling experience of life (personally and professionally) is their own internal change. So these people include those who want to:

* increase their own performance

* hone their skills to improve their career options

* seeking business improvement through increasing their own personal profitability

* learn the skills in NLP for a therapeutic or coaching profession

Credit: art-of-pickup.blogspot.com