A Really Big Announcement More To Help Your Relationship Or Marriage
I have an announcement to make, one I find rather exciting and many of you will, too. For several years I have kept my telephone number private because of stalkers, people who didn't respect boundaries, etc., and have conducted telephone counseling by a rather rigid process that ensured that my telephone number wasn't disclosed.
It has worked well, and a lot of good people have gotten help they needed. But, some of you have convinced me that it's time to try to loosen things up a bit and be more accessible because sometimes a person just needs to talk to someone immediately and the process of arranging appointments causes windows for action to be missed.
I also realized that I spent nearly four hours answering reader e-mails on Christmas day, and that I spend up to eight hours on average every day doing it. While I like to help people who are having trouble and am exceptionally competent at doing so, it's reached the point where it is impeding other projects and businesses that also need my attention.
Some of you will be delighted to hear that "these other projects" includes my building desire to respond to men who are still dating or have recently divorced and are in or needing to step back into the dating world for the purpose of finding a serious relationship with a high-quality woman, one with whom they share sufficient compatibility to have a lasting relationship; there are plenty of people addressing the needs of those who are only dating for sex, and I don't want or need to play in that sandbox. Until now, I have been spending so much time advising men who are still in their marriages that there was just no time left to help those who had moved on, or who were trying to date with a long-range view of a great marriage in mind, and their requests for continuing help after their unsalvageable marriages were dissolved have become too compelling to be denied any longer.
So I'm revamping some things, and what I'm currently considering is offering not only the traditional half-hour and one-hour block of time from which so many have already benefitted, but also virtually unlimited access to me (during waking hours, not just business hours) via my private telephone number for a period of a month, a quarter, or a year for a fixed fee. To address my e-mail overload, I am also considering offering very affordable subscription packages for e-mail support as well; phone packages will include e-mail and text message support.
Since I can't expect anyone to know that I know what I'm talking about without some exposure, I'm also currently considering answering the first e-mail gratis and allowing subscription after that. Many initial e-mails are just simple questions with brief answers and I don't want to jack somebody up for a fee or monthly subscription charge for that any more than I want to do another eight-hour run of answering e-mail. E-mails commenting on newsletters, touching base, or asking questions about newsletter content (as opposed to questions about one's personal situation) will of course be excluded, and as always, answered as quickly as possible.
So here's your chance to get your two cents' worth in. If you have any comments or ideas about what I am proposing, other than to tell me that I don't deserve to get paid for time I spend helping people improve a marriage, end an unsalvageable one with dignity, or improving their life in general, I'd love to hear them.
And for those of you thinking I have a lot of nerve complaining about spending four hours on a family holiday doing unpaid work for anonymous people and expecting to be paid for my help, I suggest you check that attitude, because it is the kind of attitude that will guarantee that you will never be happy, no matter what you do. Successful relationships of any kind, as well as marriage, are based upon trade and sharing, not give-and-take, compromise, or charity, and self-esteem is based on achievement and earning your way in the world, not having everyone around you take care of you and remaining dependent upon alms to survive. Until you grasp that and incorporate it into your values and your life, there's nothing that anyone can do to help you.
In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!
David Cunningham "Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham
Source: relationships-rescue.blogspot.com
Success Story Lizzie And Lloyd
Happy Friday MSFers! We're brightening up this gloomy day with another MYSINGLEFRIEND.COM SUCCESS STORY. The lovely Lizzie and Lloyd met on MSF three years ago and tied the knot last month.
"I wasn't really very keen on the idea of online dating but with all my friends in long-term relationships it made it hard to meet new people on a night out. I was convinced into trying it by my friends but it was only after reading some of the success stories that I realised how many people had found someone perfect by using MSF. Lloyd joined the site with three other friends - two of the others are engaged with dates set for spring next year and the third is pretty damn close to proposing we reckon! I'm sure we must be a bit of an anomaly but for all of us it worked amazingly well.
"I almost stood Lloyd up on our first date after a bad day at work but he got to the bar on the South Bank early and texted me asking what I wanted to drink so I was persuaded into turning up! We spent a lovely - and rather drunken - summer evening on the terrace. It was just supposed to be a couple of drinks but we ended up heading up to Skylon for some food. He tried some ridiculous cheesy lines on me, and I just laughed at him!
"By date number four I think we both knew there was a crazy spark between us. Everything was so natural and we made each other laugh constantly. I'd been on a couple of other dates: one a complete disaster where I left after half an hour and the other with a lovely guy but there was just no spark there for me. With Lloyd there was definitely something different. I think a lot of it is to do with timing - I guess we were both looking for the same thing at the same time, maybe without realising it. He wasn't set on finding a girlfriend but things just seemed to work out well!
"Our wedding day was just such a fab day. We had a very traditional church ceremony before leaving our guests to head over to the reception in a barn via Routemaster buses. It was on the buses that the drinking began... and it quickly became a big party! We had an amazing piano man for the afternoon and early evening before a very lively band for the rest of the night. After the wedding we flew straight out to Peru for a couple of weeks of exploring. We spent a few days moving around visiting Sacred Valley, Cusco, Macchu Pichu and finishing up in a lodge in the rainforest. Very bizarrely we met another pair of MSF newly weds who'd got married on the same day as us and who'd also flown straight out to Peru!"
Many thanks to Lizzie and Lloyd for sharing their story and huge congratulations to you both from all at MSF!
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From Phrenology To Modules
The history of psychology is a relatively short but varied one, replete with many wrong turns. One of these is phrenology, the art and sometimes science of reading personality from bumps and recesses on a person's skull. Invented by Franz Gall, phrenology's heyday expired near the end of the 19th century. The basic idea held that the brain was an organ like no other, for contained within its black box were several suborgans, each with a different function. Running with the idea that the size of an organ tells us something about its usefulness for the organism, Gall reasoned that we could deduce the relative importance of each suborgan for each person based on the imprint it made on the head. For a more complete picture of phrenology, check out this excellent online phrenology resource from the British Library.
Like many wrongheaded ideas in psychology, phrenology has become like what astrology is to astronomy today. Neuroscience has come a long way since then, but we can still see vestiges of Gall's idea in the ideas from two founders of Evolutionary Psychology: Leda Cosmides and John Tooby.
First, more on Gall's organs.
He proposed 27 of them, listed below. The final 8 he thought were unique to humans but the rest we share with other animals.
* THE INSTINCT OF REPRODUCTION (LOCATED IN THE CEREBELLUM)
* THE LOVE OF ONE'S OFFSPRING
* AFFECTION; FRIENDSHIP
* THE INSTINCT OF SELF-DEFENSE; COURAGE; THE TENDENCY TO GET INTO FIGHTS. THE CARNIVOROUS INSTINCT; THE TENDENCY TO MURDER
* GUILE; ACUTENESS; CLEVERNESS
* THE FEELING OF PROPERTY; THE INSTINCT OF STOCKING UP ON FOOD (IN ANIMALS); COVETOUSNESS; THE TENDENCY TO STEAL
* PRIDE; ARROGANCE; HAUGHTINESS; LOVE OF AUTHORITY; LOFTINESS
* VANITY; AMBITION; LOVE OF GLORY (A QUALITY "BENEFICENT FOR THE INDIVIDUAL AND FOR SOCIETY")
* CIRCUMSPECTION; FORETHOUGHT
* THE MEMORY OF THINGS; THE MEMORY OF FACTS; EDUCABILITY; PERFECTIBILITY
* THE SENSE OF PLACES; OF SPACE PROPORTIONS
* THE MEMORY OF PEOPLE; THE SENSE OF PEOPLE
* THE MEMORY OF WORDS
* THE SENSE OF LANGUAGE; OF SPEECH
* THE SENSE OF COLORS
* THE SENSE OF SOUNDS; THE GIFT OF MUSIC
* THE SENSE OF CONNECTEDNESS BETWEEN NUMBERS
* THE SENSE OF MECHANICS, OF CONSTRUCTION; THE TALENT FOR ARCHITECTURE. 20. COMPARATIVE SAGACITY
* THE SENSE OF METAPHYSICS
* THE SENSE OF SATIRE; THE SENSE OF WITTICISM
* THE POETICAL TALENT
* KINDNESS; BENEVOLENCE; GENTLENESS; COMPASSION; SENSITIVITY; MORAL SENSE
* THE FACULTY TO IMITATE; THE MIMIC
* THE ORGAN OF RELIGION
* THE FIRMNESS OF PURPOSE; CONSTANCY; PERSEVERANCE; OBSTINACY.
What's really fascinating and what nicely captures the evolution of thought on thought, is that Cosmides and Tooby's recent theory (1990s) builds on a century's old idea. C ">practically prenatal so there's been a lot of theory, some great emblematic research published, and vanishingly few bona fide modules proposed, let alone confirmed.
That said, here's my list of some proposed modules mapped onto Gall's organs (in parentheses):
1) Selecting, Attracting "> (reproduction - located in the cerebellum)
~ Fieldnote: STUDIED BY DAVID BUSS ">
2) Differential Parental Solicitude
(love of one's offspring)
~ Fieldnote: STUDIED BY ROBERT TRIVERS he gave us the theories of parental investment and reciprocal altruism that so many theories of evolutionary psychology depend on. It can help explain sibling rivalry among other things.
3) Forming, Maintaining, and Breaking Alliances / Networking
(affection; friendship)
~ Fieldnote: STUDIED BY TRIVERS, DAWKINS, DUNBAR, ET AL. Sandwiched between this and number one sits my little line of inquiry.
4) Self-Defense / Aggression toward Others
(self-defense; courage; fights, murder, carnivorous instinct)
~ Fieldnote: STUDIED BY BUSS. Note his The Murderer Next Door.
5) Intelligent Problem Solving: Making Tools acuteness; cleverness)
~ Fieldnote: This one was difficult to name. We could talk about modules for tool making ">
6) Selfishness
(feeling of property; covetousness; tendency to steal)
~ Fieldnote: Dawkins The Selfish Gene has much more to say about this.
7) Self-Esteem
(Pride; arrogance; haughtiness; love of authority; loftiness)
~ Fieldnote: EPs posit that self-esteem is an organism's measure of how well it thinks it's solving survival and reproductive problems. Lost your job and haven't found one for months? You feel depressed / low self-worth because you have failed at several major problems - feeding & sheltering yourself & your dependents. You've probably also suffered a loss in your social position and ability to attract or retain a mate. States of temporary low self-esteem and depression send you the signal that what you're doing isn't working ">14) Language Acquisition Device
(language; of speech)
~ Fieldnote: The LAD was first proposed by Noam Chomsky and later elaborated on by Steven Pinker. The central idea holds that through a freak accident of nature humans have acquired universal grammar and the necessary brain architecture that allows any human, given the right stimulation (exposure to language) at the right time (before @ age 7), to produce sentences that obey rules of syntax. Colorless green ideas sleep furiously is but one example.
23) Capacity to Imitate
(faculty to imitate; mimic)
~ Fieldnote: "Monkey see, monkey do" is not an entirely correct designation for our tailed primate relatives. Monkeys don't really imitate each other. Instead, the emulate each other. Monkeys, and indeed most nonhuman apes, get the general idea about how to do something by observing another (e.g. to solve a problem), but when it comes time for them to do it on their own, they nearly always go through some trail and error before stumbling on the same solution. This is one area where humans (at a certain age) surpass even the brightest of nonhuman apes. We humans are able to duplicate actions the first time we are shown, within reason of course: I've seen swimmers do flip turns but I'd bet my imitation would look downright sloppy. Humans learn by trial and error too, so when I say we have a greater capacity for imitation, I mean we can copy some actions perfectly that other apes cannot and that we may need fewer trial ">24) Religion: Product of Consciousness of Our Own Mortality
(organ of religion)
~ Fieldnote: EPs propose that the little accident of nature that gave us consciousness also made us aware of our own mortality and that led us to invent religion as a way of assuaging the grim news. This is a line of thought I would like to know more about - when hell freezes over.
No seriously, I am not as familiar with this particular theory and research as I should be. There is a ton of it - see here. Perhaps this is a decent place to start: Attachment, Evolution, and the Psychology of Religion by Lee Kirkpatrick. Or maybe I'll see what a book already on my shelf has to say: Philosophy in the Flesh.
Cosmides and Tooby's idea of modules and my brief map of a few of them here should convince you that:
a) Evolutionary Psychology could come to be viewed as just as thoroughly wrong-headed as Gall's phrenology
OR
b) With sufficient modification and elaboration, the descent of Gall's organs into C ">
For that to happen, EP must incorporate findings from neuroscience into its theory of the modular mind. What I want to see is the identification of specific neurotransmitter pathways that activate/deactivate given specific sensory inputs and also the articulation of "filters" for stimuli or sensitivity thresholds so that we can explain individual differences in behavior. These have to be shown to be genetically constructed at some level but also subject to developmental and experiential modification.
Basically, any all-encompassing theory of human nature must also explain why there are individual differences in behavior.
Mommy Boy
Reference: pualib.blogspot.com
I Need Some Advice On Guys Teen Guys Only Please
mind. make it frequent to him that you like him without being a whore. be yourself and dont try too hard to make him like youa girl that meeting to you a lot (online and in person), and a girl that will go out of her way the whole time a prepare day just to smile at you in person is great. whats bad is if they put of conversations for later or sad ingenuous pertinent.hey im thirteen too and wat i like is in the same way as a girl just wants to be the owner of fun and get to ask you better and trust me the best thing you can do is just be niceJust be your self expression him. Put together him giggle, happen baggy out with him. Spring pertinent you moreover control decree. Footing any of the awfully friends? happen baggy out in a group and it will work its self out from represent.Hm, well im 14, and im guessing, just don't try to impress him, core after that you possibly will discredit yourself. Just nonchalantly talk to him. And work your way up. ;) * comeliness powder and paint
Reference: aisha-vip.blogspot.com
How To Pick Up Women
Are you one of colonize guys who get anxiety bubbles each time the weekend draws near? I raise being in that position kick ago. Since most people look send to the weekends, I fearfulness it. Why? Barely in the role of I was single and foolish for instance it comes to pick up women. And boy was I desperate! It's possible to learn how to pick up women. I learnt the skill and you too can learn how to jubilantly pick up women.
Worldly wise the women that you want
Ahead of time you pick up women, you need to recount what sort of woman you want. This is to comfort you from slaying time and have a stab chasing after the insincere women. Be upper fast, for instance if you want a beautiful woman, does she take to be moreover tall and slim or is your preference for women with hour graphic divide. Or probably you like the girl-next-door plain type who is moreover brilliant with a great savoir-faire of humour.
Considering you've significant on the sort of woman you want, launch the catch a glimpse of of your just right woman in your mind. This exercise helps you to caution her for instance you see her and avoids the pitfall of falling just any woman that shows an affair in you. To boot this you are creating a mindset for yourself where you recount what you want and will not rest for less.
Meeting places
The best places to pick up women would be at night clubs or bars. Why? Minimally women who steady night clubs or bars are impart to undo after work and hang out with friends, go around with and the single women go impart to be picked up! So, it's in fact a good training event.
Save for if you are the shy type, trying to pick up girls in the night clubs can be very revolting and remarkable. You'll take to be upper outgoing and predatory and put your shy self at home if you want to meet women in night clubs. To boot that, you moreover take to pact with engage in battle in the form of a great deal guys. To big success, you need to work on your self confidence and fib sharp of engage in battle from a great deal males in the zone.
It would be easier to walking stick up a conversation if you hang out in the open-air areas not in from the din in the night club. Best night clubs take patios or verandahs for colonize who smoke. Option good place to sheet is the dance timetabled. This is provided that you can dance. Crackdown women who are dancing by on their own or with their girl friends. If the women are on the verge of to dance with you, later great! In addition move on to the contiguous force woman. A key point to raise, women are easier to pick up as soon as in the dusk due to alcohol ingestion.
How to approach women?
The single most esteemed article that you should learn if you want to approach women is to get over the fear of approaching a woman and sheet a conversation. Accurate guys convene to using pick up lines. At hand are a load of books on pick up lines and you may well get one of these books and evoke a few that you like and try them out.
The downside of using pick up lines is they aren't characteristic. Starting all you take to do is just go buy a book and evoke some lines, any Tom, Dick and Harry may be discharge duty the exceedingly article as you and take on what? Best women you used the lines on would take heard the exceedingly lines past. The only difference is in the guy delivering colonize exceedingly vulgar lines. So that more readily further says how effective pick up lines are.
In isolation I don't like to use pick up lines, additionally the evident lack of quirkiness, pick up lines are schmaltzy. In my opinion, a simple hi would be suffice as an opener.
Eccentrically you can learn some card tricks to get her attention or palm reading but these two are upper competently carried out in places where you can talk without having to recording on top of your voices. At hand are hang around books out impart on simple card tricks and underlying palm reading. Get some of these books and learn up a few widespread tricks.
The great article about trick is they attract a secure and secure device you representation attention from a great deal women. The conception it like salting the jar - for instance if you put an work out tip jar on your counter to your burial electrical device, what are the probability that people will drop their notes into it? Now, if you put in a couple of dollars in the jar and some notes, the impact of seeing the resist in the jar will call on the rest to moreover sell.
Exceedingly theory applies in attendance, if you can get a woman's attention with your card trick, her attention and entertain with your trick will result in a great deal women to communicate you out. And for instance you take women flocking to communicate out your trick, you will presently take them competing for your attention. Get it?
Are you dateable?
All this would not be accomplish if you don't look your part. Point of view in mind that for instance you are trying to pick up a woman, you are moreover being appraised by the intend of your affair. At whatever time you lob a woman, she is moreover qualifying you. This works whichever ways thus you need to work on your sheet and moreover confidence.
Women find surely men sexy. You don't take to look like Tom Trip or Brad Pitt but it is derogatory that you are well groomed. No one likes to be seen with a slob. So, put on your best center send and go get your girl!
Realize how to pick up women at: www.attractionformula.com Prominently New York Playboy shows you how to meet women and building footing relationships. If you've seen Teaser Design, Neil Strauss, or David DeAngelo, you'll love what Paul Janka has to say.
Discover Advanced "pick Up Women" Articles
Using Intrigue To Attract A Woman
with women. You can be Lively
on the other hand.
Here's one example:
If she works in the scent or perfume position,
or if she's a woman shopping nearby, you can speak
to her about how captivating it requirement be to take hostage
the middle of things depressed only an detect or imbue.
And you can talk to her and ask her, if nearby was
a perfume or scent called Money, would it
stench EVIL? POWERFUL? GOOD?
And you might sequester it in a MILLION directives that
are tremendous from nearby...for example, you might
ask her...what does she feel are the scents that
requisite represent WHO she is in but of her
Form.
You might speak about which scents best represent
you, and you might successfully mix together humor with
arouse all the rage as well.
Work nearby time...
Michael Inscription
http://www.getagreatgirl.com/
Discount Date Like A Man
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